California has made some strides toward equality for same sex couples, but it cannot be said that there isn’t still a long way to go. As unfair as it is, same sex couple have to do more: prepare more documents, plan for more contingencies/eventualities, update more frequently – than their heterosexual counterparts. The worst thing that a same sex couple can do is bury their heads in the sand, hoping or assuming it’s ok not to put anything in place – that somehow, some way, it’ll all be taken care of should something go wrong.
Even in the best of circumstances, what you effectively do when you don’t plan is place an enormous burden on your loved ones; the ones who have loved you and cared about you the most, and the ones you have loved and cared about the most, are going to be put in a horrific situation should something happen to you and you haven’t planned for it. And this horrific situation, not only does it come at a time of grief for your loved ones, but it is entirely avoidable.
Some tips to get you started:
- With no estate plan (will, trust), you die intestate (i.e. the government decides your estate plan) and the government’s plan discriminates against same sex couples.
- Without powers of attorney in place, the parents who threw you out of the house when you came out could be making medical and financial decisions for you if you’re incapacitated.
- Being a Registered Domestic Partner in California, or married, does not change these points in their entirety.
- Holding your property in joint tenancy with your property will not avoid the problems here, plus they could work to DIS-inherit your children and/or cause additional problems down the line.
- Not choosing a guardian for your child(ren) could mean they end up in foster care should something happen to you.
- Without a living trust, probate fees could take up to 10% of your gross estate (your estate not taking debt into account) and take 2-3 years – if not more – to resolve.
The best way to take care of your family when you are a same sex couple is to put an estate plan in place.