How to get through your divorce with money, your sanity, and hope for the future: Law, strategy, and everything you need to know but no one tells you

This is the working title of the book I am putting together primarily for divorcing parties in California, but there will be general application for those outside of California.  I am targeting a release at the end of the month and want to be able to help the widest audience.

The topic will include: what to do and think about when you’re thinking of divorce, the initial process, the overall process, emotions involved, hiring a lawyer, the things they don’t tell you that you need to know, finances, child custody and visitation, child and spousal support, property division, debt, negotiation strategies, settlement conferences, trial, specific issues that come up frequently (substance abuse, moving away, for example), completing your case, post-divorce considerations, and where/how to get help.   Each topic will include the “hard” law and strategy as well as the emotional and logistical, common sense aspects and the things no one tells you but you need to know.

Sound worthwhile?

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, and this blog is one way of getting the information out there.  But now, I don’t see that there is another publication that combines everything: law, strategy, emotions and all the little things you don’t expect.  Many publications have some of these, but none have all of them together.  I think it’s time to give access to the divorce process to everyone who needs it, and not just those wealthy enough to spend tens of thousands of dollars on attorneys.

What do you think?  Is there a topic you would like me to include?

5 Responses to “How to get through your divorce with money, your sanity, and hope for the future: Law, strategy, and everything you need to know but no one tells you”

  1. weeeblo Says:

    In Colorado, I’ve found a “Friendly Divorce Guidebook” ( that did a reasonably good job of presenting basic, high-level law and strategy for those entering a divorce in the state. It was a great help in working through a reasonably amicable and fair settlement with my ex and our mediator. However, where I’ve struggled is understanding my rights and legal standing now that the divorce is final and I’m subjected to occasional tirades and threats by my ex to “lawyer-up”, take me to back to court and change things. Whatever meaningful coverage you can provide of post-divorce considerations, strategy and law would be a welcome addition to my low-cost, DIY toolbox.

    • christinamcpherson Says:

      Thanks for the suggestion! I have a chapter about post-divorce considerations, and I will include my thoughts on how to handle threats from the ex to go back to court. If you can take them for what they are – idle threats – then I think they’re easier to handle.

  2. weeeblo Says:

    I try not to take her financial threats too seriously, but I cannot help but feel concern when parenting time or custody issues get tossed into the mix. I look forward to your upcoming publication. Thank you for the response and insightful blog!

  3. lynette Says:

    My husband is both passive-aggressive and defiant — in fact, he keeps creating major obstacles for the smallest issues, and has even done such egregious things as violate the automatic restraining order on our assets. My difficulty is knowing when it is necessary to take action, and when I should just let it go, even when upset. Because he refuses to contact his attorney at all (so that “he” can save “his” money), my legal bills are heading rapidly upward just for basic procedural stuff because I and my attorney are doing all the work. I have taken the stance of not doing anything further, but I don’t know that it gets us anywhere either. Will your book cover how to deal with difficult and uncooperative partners, who may in fact have an undiagnosed mental health issue (like BPD)? I have talked to my attorney about trying to come up with strategies, but I couldn’t make the relationship functional because of his behavior when we were still living together, and of course it is even worse now since he is so angry. Thanks!

    • christinamcpherson Says:

      Lynette, this is not only a common issue, but one of the most frustrating. I always tell my clients that we can control a lot of things, but not everything! But yes, there are strategies to acting, not acting, and deciding on when to take a hard stance and when to be gentler. I will cover these as much as I can, but they could be whole topics on their own! Thanks for the comment. -Christina

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